Desiree became a mom at age 28, and is now 30 years old with two girls, 2 years old and 5 months old. She struggled for eleven months to become pregnant with her first daughter. She said it was one of the hardest seasons of her life in learning to trust God with her body, mind, and soul even when the outlook was bleak. "I felt like a volleyball being passed back and forth between fear and faith," Desiree said. "In the beginning, I wondered why God would give me a desire for children and not fulfill it. Each day was a struggle to trust the Lord and to rejoice with my friends who were becoming pregnant or adopting."
Tell us about your journey to becoming a mom. What were some of the hardest times and most joyful moments?
After becoming pregnant with my oldest daughter Alaina, I was overjoyed and so thankful for every moment of the pregnancy. I had morning sickness up until I was 16 weeks pregnant, but I was still so thankful that I even had the chance to be sick because it meant that a new person was growing and on their way. We were thrilled to find out our baby’s gender and started thinking about all of the good times ahead of us. My pregnancy was pretty uneventful and progressed smoothly which was a blessing. I had planned throughout my pregnancy to give birth at a birth center close to my home and a hospital in case anything went wrong. After 48 hours of labor and a transport to my local hospital, I gave birth to Alaina. It was nothing like I had planned and again had to struggle with my own plans over God’s plans. I did have my beautiful daughter and with that came so many moments of joy in watching her grow.
I have learned that I am not enough to keep my kids from danger, but I can trust God with their lives each day.
What was your experience of meeting your children like?
I vividly remember meeting both of my girls and thinking that this was just the beginning of finding out who they would be. I calmly thought that my life was about to change forever right before I met my oldest daughter. She wanted to snuggle up with me as soon as she was born and hasn’t stopped since. With my second daughter, I was overwhelmed with emotion and excitement.
What did you think motherhood would look like before you became a mom? What were you surprised by?
Before becoming a mom I thought that motherhood would be hard but rewarding. I had no real idea what day to day life would look like, but I knew that I would handle the challenges as they came. I thought that it would be more intentional with art projects and time to read and playing outside all the time. I was surprised by how much love I felt for each of my girls and just how much hardship I can handle with God’s strength.
How has having two kids changed motherhood for you?
My kids have changed so many things about motherhood for me. They have shown me that motherhood is something special that God has created. Alaina has shown me that motherhood is doing the right thing even when it’s difficult. My second daughter Diana has shown me that motherhood isn’t meeting everyone’s needs but following God’s lead.
What have you learned about yourself through motherhood?
I have learned that I am stronger through Christ than I could have ever imagined before having my kids. Who I am as a daughter of God means so much more after experiencing the love that I have for my daughters. I have learned that I am not enough to keep my kids from danger, but I can trust God with their lives each day.
Share the biggest ways that God has worked in your heart and has shown himself to you in this journey of motherhood.
The biggest way that God has worked in my heart since becoming a mom is by showing me that I am not in control of any aspect of my life. I can plan out how I would like to parent my children, what our day will look like, or how I would like to birth them into the world, but God is the one who has the power and strength to enable me to live moment by moment according to His word. I used to believe that my way was best and that living in my own strength was going to help me get through life. Now I see that to truly mother my children well I must rely on God alone.
Thank you for reading this story of Desiree's motherhood journey. I hope, as we continue the series, your life will be enriched by the stories other moms share.