Motherhood: BJ's Story
BJ is an attorney and works for a global financial firm. She became a mom at 39, and is now 40 with an 18-month-old boy.
Tell us a brief version of your journey to becoming a mom. What were some of the hardest times? What were some of the most joy-filled moments?
I met my husband when I was 35, and we got married when I was 38. Knowing fertility declines with age, we were open to whether we'd have a future with kids or without. By God's grace, I got pregnant with our son when I was 38, and had him just after I turned 39.
For me, the hardest transition to motherhood was the sacrifice and time involved in taking care of another person. I had been blessed to have a very rewarding 16-year career before our son arrived, and it was quite a paradigm shift to figure out what the new normal would look like. My husband and I also hadn't been married very long, so it was a challenge to go from being single to being married and pregnant with little transition time.
What's great? I love watching our son discover the world. He is already so driven to explore, even at 18 months. One of my greatest joys has come from watching my family and friends interact with our son. It's hard to put into words how special it is to see my mom developing her own relationship with him, or to see our friends getting to know him.
What was your experience of meeting your child for the first time like?
When the nurse placed our son in my arms, I remember thinking: "Oh, he's so slimy" and "I hope I don't drop him." I didn't have the love-at-first-sight experience many moms reference. My love for our son grew over time. The first time I spent the night away from him I thought my heart would burst, and that's when I realized how much I loved him.
What did you think motherhood would look like before you became a mom? What were you surprised by?
I didn't have many expectations of what being a mom would be like because I never knew if I'd actually have the opportunity to be one. I'm surprised by how much sacrifice it requires. Parents are heroes!
Share with us the biggest ways God has worked in your heart and shown his character to you through this journey of motherhood.
God is gracious and has a plan for our lives, whether that plan has manifested itself with what we want or what we don't want. He is worthy of our trust.
Is there anything else you’d like to share about your experience as a mom?
I'd encourage all moms or anyone wanting to be a mom to let go of perfection. I envisioned motherhood to be these perfect afternoons playing in the yard or reading a book, and while those moments do happen, they are fleeting. When I let go of trying to have the perfect family, the perfect marriage, the perfect home, and the perfect son, it's much easier to embrace the fullness of life.
Thank you for reading BJ's motherhood journey. I hope, as we entered into each mom's story, your life was enriched by the various perspectives and honest reflections.